This morning it seems to be all about:
OK OK ma, you had your little episode, I showed you some respect — now it’s gonna be all about Moi.
ma! Remind Me how to finish my breakfast!
ma! What’s this box with sawdust for? What am I supposed to do in it?
Oh yeah.
[Some pictures have been omitted.]
Now. What do you think you’re doing? Does it have anything to do with Me?
Put that computer down. I need your attention right now. I want to know: Where are My treats?
No I will not stop moving around while you do that snappy thing. Where? What? I don’t have a specific question. I just want something. I don’t know what. Oh I do too. It’s treats.
Or maybe it’s you who doesn’t know. That seems more like it. The main thing is: What? What?
OK. Now I’ve got your attention . . . .
Ain’t I just the finest thang west of the Mississippi?
Well? Well?
catself 
Yes, yes, you absolutely are. There’s no denying it…you are GORGEOUS!
What I’m talkin’ bout.
O.M.G. That cat. IS GORGEOUS! I would tell you not to tell him and have it go to his head but I imagine that moment has long since passed 🙂
Additionally, who doesn’t love a good “Hi. Excuse me, yes. Hi. What are you doing. Does it require a kitty? COULD it require a kitty?” moment??
Oh yes. Way too late.
But: “Excuse me?” And put in question form? This I don’t recognize.
If it was HEY YOU BEANHEAD OVER HERE [swipe] I’M TALKIN’ TO YOU —
This sounds more familiar.
Hahaha…well, it’s that flat, statement-like kind of “Excuse me” that sounds like people who start a sentence with “All due respect…” and then finish with something that contains very little actual respect. “My voice is saying ‘Excuse me’ but my paws are saying ‘Move over, Monsieur Magnificent has arrived.'”
Ah. Got it. Absolutely. I get a bug up my b*** every time I hear that “due respect” thing coming. You can just hear the “buts” all over the place.
Monsieur Magnificent. Hoots.
Charlotte tells me that she’s willing to grant that he’s the best looking cat WEST of the Mississippi…
The implication is understood. Please thank Charlotte for ceding the point. [While noticing that it didn’t cost her a dime.]
I just kissed your perfect pink nose through my computer screen, I did! Take good care of your Mom, Bugs.
Oh Catsp! Is it you I have to thank? He was unprecedentedly sweet yesterday.
Oh yeah, the little pink cat nose maneuver followed by a white paw prod. Never fails.
They know how to work it, don’t they.
Nads…you are the finest thang East of Mississippi!! Alabama!! I just love you to death.
You are one smart kitty. My kitty Marley does not like the snappy thing either.
I hope you got your Treats !!
Marley, so very very kind of you to love me to death. I return the favor where you live, your excellence — love the little mustache — as often as Bean remembers to get over there. So — we must endure the snappy thing for our public, must we not. The price is, as you say: TREATS, eternally TREATS, always TREATS, and more TREATS still. Yes.