Hello reader-beans. Bugs here again. Bean has been rocked back on her ass for a few days, by various Bad Things that apparently needed her urgent and bad-tempered attention. She asked me to tell you she’s doing fine now, though. This was over her shoulder, as she raced out the door in a high state of excitement.
I tried to explain to her that a high state of excitement, in this heat, was not good for her health, coming off the Bad Things as she was and, also, frankly, it is just plain hotter than Hades over here, still, and she just spent the big bucks on a perfectly good window-unit to sit in front of. But you know Bean. When she gets a bug up her behind (evil laughs), there’s no reasoning with her.
So now the computer is all mine. I intend to use it to continue with the breathtaking travelogue series. Recall that we last visited the Bandiagara in West Africa. There we spent some time considering a romance with mountain-climber bean Catherine Destivelle.
I also want you to know that my Bean reads your comments to me, every single last one of them. The one warning me that La Destivelle would probably end up to be a diva and leave me behind at the bottom of the cliffs wondering where my next wildebeest was coming from – that one really hit home. I had my heart broken regularly by divas like that, in my days as a young ’un out there on the streets.
So I’ve reconsidered. The Bean I have now is no catch in the looks department and, frankly, she’s too old for me even if she were Natalie Portman. Didja see Natalie Portman in THE BLACK SWAN?
Ai-eeeee. ))) Feathers (((
I digress. As some of you pointed out, and I agree this is important, my current Bean feeds me two excellent squares a day, garnished with Various Greens – so I’ve pretty much got it made, even if the protein she feeds me is chicken (lame) and not wildebeest (what I’m talkin’ ‘bout).
Plus, I have to admit, Bean is responding well to my training. Don’t worry – I haven’t lowered my standards. Not too much, anyway. But her sincerity has impressed me. And while her native conformation, talent, and ability – not to mention her coat or lack thereof – all fall far short of what I require, with her earnestness (can be a bit heavy-handed now and then, is all I’m saying), plus a little more time, I’m pretty confident we can work things out.
Even if the lamp behind my noble brow looks like some kind of alien space-invader head-gear. Bean took this pic, so what can you expect.
So this morning, given it’s Sunday, I was willing to lie down next to her and purr – just for a short spell, don’t worry, I’m still fierce as the dickens over here. But I just figured she needed a little down-time encouragement, to bolster her spirits after she coped so well with the various Bad Things.
I guess purring must have done the trick, worked even better than it probably should have, because like I said, she’s out the door.
So Portman? Pour quoi. I’m done with Destivelle. No more romance. What I want is your bean role model.
I was going through Bean’s e-mails and I think I may have found one. This is about a bean called Danny MacAskill. I hear he’s also got the very groovy moniker MegaSkill. Looks about right to me.
I mean, this cat has paws that are more like it. There are two of them and they seem to be round.
He’s supposed to be a bean – but frankly? I see right through him. He’s a cat.
I locked into laser-beam zap-focus, on a video featuring Danny MacAskill called “Way Back Home : Edinburgh to Skye.”
Now many times my Bean has bored me to death with stories of Scotland and the home she once had, with her new husband, in Edinburgh. Plus a small cottage they had outside Edinburgh, in the Lowlands, near a place called North Berwick.
Don’t ask because she will go on endlessly about what she calls a Honey Moon in the Scottish Highlands. This place looks pretty good to me, so I can see why beans might like to look at the moon there. It is – sweet though? ???
photo by kind permission of Richard Webb
Here’s North Berwick. Where they used to go for the newspaper and — cigarettes? What are those?
Anyway, just wait til Bean gets back and I can show her this MacAskill video. She claims to have seen concrete bunkers just like the ones shown in the vid – she explains at butt-numbing length that as abandoned and desolate these bunkers may appear, she is actually quite moved to be reminded of them, because they are heroic monuments to the British determination to fend off the attacks of this cat Hitler? Bean is still very freaked out about this cat, so probably the less said about him the better. (He is definitely not on my list as candidates for bean role models, you’ll be glad to hear.)
I myself am impressed with Danny MegaSkill. Pay attention! That’s the cat with round paws in the vid. He looks like a pretty good role-model to me. Although I would like to see what will happen in later life to his lower back and hip-joints not to mention the family jewels, after what he puts his tuff stuff through here.
I must say, though, I do like how he covers up his tracks. This looks like good hunting strategy to me.
And I really appreciate that squeak at the end. This is exactly like the ki-ai – martial-arts shout – that I myself let rip when I land from one of my heroic death-defying jumps. I have found it helps firm up the abs and lends power from the diaphragm, to offset any shock in a hard landing. I’m very impressed MegaSkill appreciates this.
Plus I know Bean likes what she calls “music”? I think that’s the noise that goes along with this. It’s by The Jezebels (whatever those may be; anyway, they sound good) and Loch Lomond (but I thought that was a lake? spang, these beans make things hard).
Make time to watch this. Then let me know if you approve my choice of role model.
WHOA! HERE COMES BEAN!
Yo yo yo Bean. Whassup?
No answer. She said I should just post this picture and she’ll explain later.
I don’t like where I think this may be going.