Caturday Violated

It’s been a lovely Saturday here in Fayetteville, Arkansas, USA.  Please to enjoy an impressionistic shot of brilliant sun on the turning leaves.

Please to wax nostalgic for one last flower, before the final deepfreeze sets in.  (Sorry, eastern USA.)

OK Bean.  Time’s up.  Fake left, with the sweetness and light distraction – but now, time to go right.  The music must be faced.

Again I find out about my errors only after the fact.

I made an appointment with our new vet – nothing serious, just more tussle with stubborn fleas and ears and claws I’m too much of a weeny to want to try to clip and, otherwise, just meet-and-greet in pawson with the new vet –

– but I made this appointment on Caturday.  I cringe to admit it.  Now I feel like I do when I eat on Yom Kippur.

Why does this look like a headstone?  Must be the Halloween influence.

In my defense, I plead ignorance (again).  I know it’s no excuse.  But I just did not know until now that Caturday has its own special observances.  Extra nap-time.  Photo sessions.  Appearances on Catsparella.  All like that.

Bugs:  Dadgummit ma!  I don’t know whether I’m coming or going here.  These useless stubs for claws?  They’re supposed to be good for what now?  They are absolutely ruined.  And item:  My ears itch like a catcher’s crotch (and my claws are useless to scratch them with.  This could be strike three, ma, you know what I’m saying?  I don’t care that St. Louis won.  This has absolutely no meaning to me.  Except that cardinals are birds and they should be eaten, all of them).  And speaking of eating, item:  I notice you fed me a little less for dinner.  I need not comment about that because that kind of thing is beneath notice.  You will go back to the old ways and you will do this immediately without discussion.  And item:  I stink to high heaven.  Flea medicine, you say?  I prefer the fleas.  I had a little circus going on back there I was quite attached to.  Can’t you ever leave well enough alone?

Bean[Sigh.]  Bugs.  Pay attention.  You skipped one of the most important items.  Don’t look at me like that.  You know what I’m talking about.


Bean:  Teeth, Bugs.  Remember what the vet said about your teeth?


Bean:  She said they were great, Bugs.  Great.


Bean:  Go lie down.

Now he’s quiet at last, I can get down to the business plan.  I need to contact Oldcat about a comment I read over there.

I’m thinking we can use grasshopper corpses in cat toothpaste.  The extra crunch, as Oldcat suggests, must be good for the enamel.  And the leftover legs would be the very thing as dental floss.  JhaJha, are you listening?  Reduce, reuse, recycle.  A money-making idea at last.

About nadbugs

Anita loves cats. This must be because she, too, has had nine lives. She’s been dancing since she could walk, she was a commercial artist and advertising producer, she earned a third-degree black belt in Aikido, she is a drummer with the Afrique Aya Dance Company, she is an attorney, and she’s a meditator and a devoted student of Nonviolent Communication. She also spent one lifetime sidelined with a devastating back injury in 1992. Since then – FELDENKRAIS METHOD® to the rescue. The FELDENKRAIS METHOD is all about dreaming concretely – thinking intelligently and independently by way of a gracious and kind physicality. The work affords all who study it a process by which to reach, with movement, into the mind and the heart, to make nine lives into one whole being.
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25 Responses to Caturday Violated

  1. Aloha, Bugs. I know it was a tough Caturday for you, but it’s time to buck up and move on. If you’re lucky, you’ll have 51 Caturdays all to yourself before you have to be poked and prodded and harrassed again… As for the smaller meal portion, all I can say is that at least you don’t have to eat DIET food! Enjoy your meal, and then go catch yourself a grasshopper or a wildebeast for dessert. (You may want to sharpen those claws on a couch before trying for the wildebeest.)

    • nadbugs says:

      Aloha, Pedro. I like the way you think but if only what you say were do-able. I am pretty sure, tho, I overhead the Bean making an appointment — what is that? — for two weeks. Something about cleaning and ears? I stuffed my paws in my ears at that point. So I’m not for sure about this. But I’m going to keep my attitude buffed up irregardless. No going in crates peacefully like last time. We shall see what I cook up, when the time is right. It will be tough without my talons of terror. But Bean is a liberal after all. I’m sure I can think of something good, to make her rethink her soft-in-the-headed ways.

  2. Holy mother of Cod, Bugs. Extra retaliation is required…after your talons grow back, of course…

    And the spiky grasshopper legs? Great toothpicks!

    • nadbugs says:

      I knew I could count on you to see things my way, Lounger. As I said once somewhere, revenge is a dish best served cold. You know what I really like about the grasshopper legs? They have these sawtooth serrations on the sides. A little swiss army saw-knife for the fangs. Perfect.

  3. MelanieJ says:

    Oh, don’t remind me… very soon we get to do the once annual trip to the vet’s with three cats yowling in carriers in the back seat. It sounds like we have an entire unhappy animal shelter back there, and last year, I got bitten! It doesn’t matter that we really only have to drive for 5 minutes. It’s the longest 5 minutes of the year.

    I am filled with a bizarre combination of horror and admiration at your idea of grasshopper toothpaste.

    And I’m glad that both of you survived the vet experience (though do you sleep with one eye open?) And hooray about good teeth! A bad teeth diagnosis is traumatic for all involved.

    • nadbugs says:

      Oh dear, Melanie, what a chilling thought, your vet-visit. Sounds like a penance.

      The bizarre combination of responses to the grasshopper toothpaste idea seems just about right to me! I have succeeded in striking the right note, then! Har.

      The good teeth was indeed a relief. And yes, sometimes I sleep with both eyes open. Driving. Not really. But I am a little short on peace of mind over here, from time to time. Can’t blame that all on dear Bugs, though — he just tends to be the flashpoint.

  4. minlit says:

    If the grasshopper toothpaste works out, you’ll have to export. We don’t have the raw materials here, so the UK market is just crying out for a product like this. I can put you in touch with my contacts in distribution if you wish,

    • nadbugs says:

      Distribution contacts are gold, Mojo. You are a champ to offer. My people will get back with your people. Glad to hear about the UK market. Our passports are in order. No wait. Bugs’s passport is in order. Bean’s is out of date. Guess he’ll have to represent the line solo, then. Could do worse. Bean is probably a liability.

  5. littlemiao says:

    The Miaos share your indignation at your Caturday experience, Bugs. But the magical thing about Caturday is that you can make any day Caturday. Make tomorrow Caturday, and Wednesday too for good measure. There was a point not long ago when Sprocket was visiting the vet on a weekly basis (but never on Caturday). That was during his donut stage. Luckily, he likes the vet. He had ear critters for a while because he lived in the great outdoors, but no fleas. Not sure how he managed that. Maybe he ate them all. I don’t know what to call the ear critters because they were not mites, according to the vet. They were mite-free bacteria and yeast but they still itched and poor Sprocks couldn’t scratch because of the donut collar.

    Keep up the good work with your teeth. The grasshoppers must be helping.

  6. nadbugs says:

    Weekly!! Gaak. Weak at the knees, at the very thought. What a mess that ear situation sounds. I did wonder about the donut, littlemiao, having found you only lately. Grasshoppers are so very good. Have you see this one? And then some? Prepare to be extremely afraid:

    • littlemiao says:

      Whoa. Bugs and bats, oh my! You can count that grasshopper’s hairs! My kitties enjoy squashing bugs, but not your kind of Bugs.

      When we found Sprocket he was a bitty little kitten and his back leg was broken. It had been broken for at least two weeks and the doctor had to amputate it. Hence the donut. I often wonder what exactly happened to him in the wild but I suspect he has forgotten, which is just as well.

  7. nadbugs says:

    Oh. Gosh. That really makes you an angel, then. I shudder to think. What a world. Sometimes I really do despair. Forgetfulness o visit me in these matters. Gary Snyder calls us a gang of “primate clowns.” Some people are afraid of clowns. I think I’m beginning to get that.

  8. Anne D says:

    I keep a mothball in the vacuum cleaner bag. I read once that flea eggs can hatch in the bag and jump back into the carpet.

    • nadbugs says:

      Argh. I simply cannot abide fleas. Satan’s Spawn. I read about this too. The mothball is a great idea — last time we got infested, carpeting the house with mothballs was the only way — and then you just try to get rid of that toxic smell. Horrible. This time I’m keeping the vacuum in the outhouse, only place for it until this infestation is over with. What a — shrek, as we say in Yiddish before the movies took that word over. A lot of work. A nuisance. A pain in the patooty.

      • minlit says:

        Beware of mothballs – they destroy cats’ liver cells.

        • nadbugs says:

          Not to mention ours! I’m glad to say, in retrospect, that my moth-ball ordeal was several years ago, re a guest dog and not re Bugs — I had to move out while the mothball madness prevailed and let me tell you, moving back then became a major issue — I simply could not, the place was uninhabitable — can you imagine? I had to use platefuls of coffee-grounds to get the fumes out — the memory is still green. Horrible.

  9. Oh, Bugs!
    There is sooo much to talk about! First — we need to plot retaliation for that dreadful and ill-timed vet visit. My talons of terror are intact and ready for action. How dare they clip you, smear you with poison and still leave you with itchy ears?!?

    Secondly — SSSSHHHHH! We need to get our toothpaste patented before the formula gets stolen! Luckily the Speedbump I live with is a chemist and I will persuade him to help us one way or another. I will collect specimens from the herd of giant monster crickets in the basement. We can test them against those grasshoppers for taste and abrasive qualities. Then Mojo can work on international distribution. FINALLY a money-making scheme to fund our plot!!! Yes!!!

    • nadbugs says:

      Hey! Great to see you back, Jhaj!! I’ve been pining over here! You see what happens when you’re gone??

      I tried to stop Bean from publishing but you try getting her to shut her gob. I wash my paws of that project or I would if she’d stop smelling them. Hey about your field research I’m excited. Airlift some of those specimens over here and I will make short work of them. We cannot fail. Your talons of terror and enthusiasm, Speedbump’s expertise (he is a bean, tho? permit me to doubt any bean-related expertise but I could be prejudiced here, I mean look at my Bean I ask you), Mojo heading up the global distribution department — chiquita, I tell you, The Leader should be quaking in his Outdoor Domain.

  10. Catsparella says:

    Thanks for the Caturday shout-out Bugs, although I’m sorry to hear that Bean soiled the sanctity of the day!

  11. Anne D says:

    In regards to the mothballs, they are poisonous to cats so I am very careful when I load them into the bag. I don’t want my 14 yr old white girl to think the mothball is a new toy.

  12. Pingback: Start the Week Afresh… | Confessions of a Cat Woman

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