Breathing Room

The great thing about this quarantine is that it’s giving me some breathing room.  I get to see Bugs in a new way.

Up til now, as I’ve known him over the past year or so, I had the feeling he had become restless.  Morose.  That in my absolute insistence that he quit mauling me – which he has done completely, I rejoice to say – he was left feeling perhaps a bit confused about who he was.  Not the fierce monster mankitten in the fullness of his close-to-feral edgy intensity – but if not that, then what?

I struggled against these conclusions.  I feared I was projecting on him my own restlessness and moroseness.  Now I’m wondering whether those perceptions were in fact accurate.  Those of you who have been advocating getting another cat, for some time now, were onto this?  You were saying that what Bugsy really needed was a feline companion and, without one, he may in fact have been restless and morose?

This morning at 4:30, I awoke to the sound of a train-wreck:  Fangie crashing around in Base Camp, knocking hell out of his bell-ball.  Bugs, in his turn, chirping inquisitively, was joining in through the bottom of the door.  This uproar went on for around fifteen minutes.

I’ve taken to using a piece of cardboard to flap around, as I enter Base Camp, to make as much of a presence as possible to keep Fangie inside and Bugs out.  After the train-wreck subsided, when I got up to use the loo, I found Bugsy camped out on this cardboard, grooming.  Fun stuff.

Here’s another observation.  Bugs is generally acting more affectionately toward me.  I can see this definitely, by contrast.  Up to now, his affection had been rare and intermittent. Now, more often, he’s close by and purring.  He’s doing this gratuitously, with no treats involved.  After Fangie quieted down this morning, Bugs did this thing he’s invented and every time he does it, I know affection will follow.  He jumps up on the foot of the bed.  Then he carefully teeters up me, my whole length.  When he reaches my head, he starts purring, and then he commences to biscuit-make on my chest.  Then he walks over to a memory-foam pillow I keep beside me – he loves this pillow, but only in these kinds of moments – and makes biscuits on the pillow.  Then he comes over and gently head-butts me, once or twice only.  Then, if my computer is closed beside me, he moves over to sit on the computer and groom a bit.  Then he’s off again somewhere else.

Mr. Quicksilver Lightfoot.  Mr. Mercury.

I’m fascinated by this and I’m loving it.

In the meantime, I get to indulge in my very favorite thing:  High Drama.  In the photo you’re about to see, there was absolutely nothing of the subtext my imagination created.  So you see here, in defiance of reality, I get to enjoy myself.  Lean into it.  It’s the freedom, you see.  The sheer operatic running-wildness of it all.

The truth of this shot has nothing to do with what I saw in my mind’s eye.

What was really happening was that Bugsy was simply minding his own business, surveying the scene from high.  When I messed with his vibe by taking the picture, he gathered up his dignity and went off to cogitate somewhere else.

We’re all having fun here.  I think.

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About nadbugs

Anita loves cats. This must be because she, too, has had nine lives. She’s been dancing since she could walk, she was a commercial artist and advertising producer, she earned a third-degree black belt in Aikido, she is a drummer with the Afrique Aya Dance Company, she is an attorney, and she’s a meditator and a devoted student of Nonviolent Communication. She also spent one lifetime sidelined with a devastating back injury in 1992. Since then – FELDENKRAIS METHOD® to the rescue. The FELDENKRAIS METHOD is all about dreaming concretely – thinking intelligently and independently by way of a gracious and kind physicality. The work affords all who study it a process by which to reach, with movement, into the mind and the heart, to make nine lives into one whole being.
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37 Responses to Breathing Room

  1. lahgitana says:

    Aw, Bugsy, your inner happy-guy is sneaking out!

  2. Oldcat says:

    Bugs is a high energy cat and a young one, so I can see how he might have been having trouble burning that off once he understood that using you as a kitten substitute was not allowed. Even through the door you see how much effort he is putting into listening and interacting. And once the DO SOMETHING energy is used up, there’s more room for the affection energy to show to you.

  3. Cat's Cats says:

    The joy that cats bring takes many forms…. 🙂

  4. Bubsy is high energy like Odin (a Gemini ruled by Mercury). The task is keeping one step ahead of their quicksilver minds.

  5. Isn’t it funny how personalities can change over time? Harley has lived here over 3 years, and only in the last couple of months has he become a lapcat!

  6. look at the hips on that kitty!

  7. You know, I’ve always felt that the right cat always finds the right person, and I think both Fangie and Bugsy have done that. I think, just maybe, they’re going to teach you to lose that pessimism you say you have. I think Fangie needs you to be possitive for his recovery because they can sense how you feel and he will be helped more by you thinking he’s going to be better than worry that he’s not. I think the fact that they are falling in love with each other through the door will show you not to worry that they’ll hate each other. I think you’re going to find these two have a lot to share and I can’t wait to watch your journey with them! I’m so happy things are going so well for you, and that it’s even helping Bugsy be a more affectionate kitty. And to think, it’s only been a week!

    • nadbugs says:

      Yes, quite amazing. Sometimes it feels like a year. But a growth spurt is definitely happening. For me, of course, I mean. It’s all extremely interesting.

  8. MTVA says:

    I wonder if this time with you, after Bugs has seen the newcomer and maybe worried if he would still be the much-loved ManCat of the house, has caused him to appreciate you all the more and draw closer to you. Also for reassurance in the face of all this new and strange activity. And yet his natural curiosity about The New Guy is growing, but without just yet having to do anything about it, maybe all this is a blessing in disguise. Then again, maybe I am thinking too much like a bean, and not enough like a cat! Maybe the answer to all this is to just enjoy, and not think too much!

    • nadbugs says:

      You’ve described what seems to be going on, spot on MTVA. And the opportunities for enjoyment are many and varied, as you suggest — if I can just keep my attitude adjusted.

  9. CATachresis says:

    Oh now I know what you meant by the cats, the bell ball, the drama lol. My imagination went skewiff! It is a steep learning curve, but I think it will pay you dividends big time. Well I think that’s the plan! You hang in there. Looks like a very interesting journey x

  10. IsobelandCat says:

    Sounds like it’s going pretty well, and giving you plenty of entertainment!

  11. littlemiao says:

    Awww. This is so sweet. Not only do you get a new kitty to love, you also get a purrier Bugs!

  12. Looks like things are going about as well as anyone can expect. Fangie & Bugs are more than eager to meet, greet, and (probably) spend an hour or three running franticly around in all directions at once.

    If the V*T things it is at all possible, open the door and let the maddness begin.

  13. nadbugs says:

    Only two sneezes this Monday morning and no visible discharge, LC, so things are moving along. Will call the V*T on Wednesday & describe the state of play, to ask — and then Teresa’s coming on Thursday for the (hopefully) door-opening ceremony. The lighting of the torch; let the games begin. London’s got nothing, compared to this.

  14. Well? Surely you aren’t gonna leave things hanging like this?

  15. nadbugs says:

    Oh yeah. I did call today, but the V*T is off on Wednesdays. So — tomorrow morning 8:00 will find me on the phone. I may not be able to find the time after that to write a full post — hectic day with Teresa coming to assist with the boys & then work & drumming @ night — but at the very least, I’ll plan on dropping a comment here about the V*T verdict & ensuing events. Thanks for tuning back in like this! You are so ON it! Makes my heart glad, like you’ve got my back.

  16. Silly vet, taking off at such a critical juncture, MOL. Seriously though, we’re rooting for you!

    • nadbugs says:

      The nerve. Still, she came through this morning — tho not with the opinion we’d been rooting for. I defer to her. She’s the one who saw Fangie, she’s the one I pay the big bux. Mope.

  17. BUMMER!

    Purrrrrring for the Great Door Opening to happen soonest.

  18. lahgitana says:

    Rodent’s buttocks!

    Soon!

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