Two Steps Forward . . .

. . . one back.  Or maybe two steps.  Or maybe more than that.

It looks like this morning’s presentation was a caboose and not the whole train.

This afternoon Bugs went at Fang to the point of Fang screaming and hissing and delivering a scratch to Bugs’s nose.  When I put Fang back in Base Camp, I found Bugs had puked in there.

Fang is fine; he’s still up for more playing.

Bugs looks peaceful.  Grooming.  But I could brain him right about now.  I am dispirited to the point of saying:  I can’t read him at all.

I’m thinking about Monday.  What are you thinking?

About nadbugs

Anita loves cats. This must be because she, too, has had nine lives. She’s been dancing since she could walk, she was a commercial artist and advertising producer, she earned a third-degree black belt in Aikido, she is a drummer with the Afrique Aya Dance Company, she is an attorney, and she’s a meditator and a devoted student of Nonviolent Communication. She also spent one lifetime sidelined with a devastating back injury in 1992. Since then – FELDENKRAIS METHOD® to the rescue. The FELDENKRAIS METHOD is all about dreaming concretely – thinking intelligently and independently by way of a gracious and kind physicality. The work affords all who study it a process by which to reach, with movement, into the mind and the heart, to make nine lives into one whole being.
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33 Responses to Two Steps Forward . . .

  1. Melanie says:

    Really, I’d have been surprised if you didn’t have a few moments like this. I know it’s totally frustrating, but hang in there. They need to test one another, set boundaries, test boundaries, decide upon a hierarchy… it’s a pain, but I’d actually be more worried if Bugs pushed at Fangie and Fangie did NOT fight back. It means that there -is- going to be some give and take in the relationship, and that’s a good thing. Even if it’s as annoying as hell right now.

    Where we got into trouble in our multi-cat household with Romeo last year is that he did not fight back… he’d run away crying every time and hide, and that meant that my “girl cats” picked on him something fierce.

    Not that I’m an advocate for letting their fights go on for too long. I’d separate the little cusses too.

    • nadbugs says:

      I feel so sad about Romeo. I am just fed up with this. I’m sure this mood of mine will pass — it’ll have to, I know you experienced cat-people know what’s what and are giving me the perspective I completely lack — but I just hate with a purple passion seeing one party beat up on another, in any context. It just breaks my heart to remember Romeo. Little cusses indeed.

      Maybe I could bear more with this — I’m sure I could — if it weren’t for Bugsy not pooping and throwing up on top of it all. Literally.

    • Kitty isn’t a fighter, either. When I start to pick on her, she runs and hides. But I’m a fierce predator, so the moment she shows fear, my brain says, “DINNER!”. And the next thing you know, I’m having a time out in the bathroom while Kitty licks her wounds… Fangie has to stick up for himself.

  2. I’m thinking Bugs was clever for puking in Base Camp. I’m thinking that I hope Bugs poops more tonight. And I’m thinking that Bugs & Fangie are certainly typical cats. You can’t read us. We’re moody and indecisive and insecure. And capricious (I love that word).

    You did the right thing sending Fangie back to his room – best to stop those events before they escalate. But the honest truth is that Bugs is probably wondering what Fangie did to get locked up, and wondering if he’ll get to come back and play later. And I KNOW that’s what Fangie’s thinking.

    Don’t fret about the cat fight. We just do that sometimes. No one really got hurt. No one got so scared that they’re ready to pack their bags and head for the nearest shelter. By tomorrow it will be forgotten.

    Don’t fret about the poop. It will happen, or it won’t. I’d vote for more baby food for Bugs – full of moisture, easy to digest. Or maybe warm chicken broth? How about a nice brushing session to calm Bugs’ nerves, followed by a little abdominal massage? And maybe a nice glass of wine and relaxing music for The Bean?

  3. nadbugs says:

    I’m the one who’s ready to pack my bags and head for the nearest shelter. And this is dry county and you can’t buy wine on Sunday. See where I’m headed with this? Into a vat of canned pumpkin, never to be heard from again. I have no energy for the long view. Thank you for taking it for me. This way I get to be capricious. Excellent word. Why clever for puking in Base Camp? So his space doesn’t get mucked up? Tsk.

  4. chocolate is toxic to cats.

  5. I think that feline warfare is inevitable…cat fight, it’s one way they settle their Catly Business–which we mere humans have no way of knowing. Some cats are louder at it than others, too.

    I’m also thinking that Bugs needs to poop–if nothing rolls out of the trainyard by tomorrow a trip back to the stationmaster is in order.

    I’m further thinking that Xanax has wine OR chocolate beat to hell.

    • nadbugs says:

      I’ve heard that, about Xanax. Would the vet prescribe that for me, do you think? No way am I paying more doctor bills . . . Thank you for the guidance about the stationmaster. I’m thinking that way, too, and also hating the idea. As for the warfare, I hate that too. I know. Cats. This is one side of the experience I just despair of. Fang is LOUD!

      • Well. The V*T can prescribe some bean tranquilizers for kitties. (Luna was taking amitriptyline for a while)
        You will likely have to buy them from a bean pharmacy. Who would know if you decided to take one or two pills yourself? 🙂

        PS: Just checked, and one of the amitriptyline side effects is constipation, so maybe something else would be better. At least for Bugs.

  6. If the fight was Bugs going at Fang, it might have been better to put Bugs in Base Camp for a few minutes — half an hour or so.

    Beyond that, Relax, Already. Things are going great, really they are. Fights like these are mostly just the kitties testing each other. Imagine two four-year-olds. They fight, swear eternal vengeance, and an hour later they’re happily playing together. Your boys are going through the same things.

    As for Monday, is Bugs losing weight? If he is, I would definitely give him a V*T visit. If he is holding steady, you could probably wait another day or two if you really want to, although we suspect it won’t help much.

    • nadbugs says:

      Well, at least I got the time right. Half an hour. Not sure why I didn’t think of putting Bugs in Base Camp. Hell, I’m just not thinking at all pretty much. And you’re right about them being able to let go of the fight. It happened just the way you describe, touching noses again. And thundering around. I just have to let go of my humanness here! It’s hard for me! Now your comment about the weight is really food for thought. He has not lost any at all. Gained since the last vet-visit. So my spirits rose at your saying waiting more would be OK — and fell again at your prediction. So it comes down to whether I really want to wait. This is a decision I’m going to look at again tomorrow morning. This day has just been too long to tackle it now. Right now I’d just shovel him at the vet, take a fistful of Xanax, and dive into a vat of chocolate or canned pumpkin don’t care any more which. Let’s all sleep well and, LC, my devoted thanks to you for your continuing wisdom.

      • Of course he’s gained – he’s got all that stuff in storage!

        I think it might have been the right thing to put Fangie in Base Camp. That way he has some territory that’s HIS while they’re working out the other boundaries.

      • Hang in there. Kitties is tough critters, and Bugs seems to be doing fine, except for one problem. With luck, you’ll wake to a big, smelly poop in the middle of the floor, because he didn’t have time to make it to the box, and everything will have solved itself.

        Something else that might be worth a try: Most kitties are lactose intolerant. Cows milk gives them upset tummy & diarrhea. Never tried it, no idea how well it would really work, but if you really don’t want to take Bugs to the V*T in the morning, a bowl of cows milk might be something to think about. Of course, you might wind up with him puking, and still plugged up. Or Bugs could be one of the ones who handles cows milk with no problems.

        We second (third, whatever) the glass (or two) (or three) of wine for you, and maybe a box of chocolates to nibble on. Telling beans not to stress tends not to help, but Relax, Already, OK?

        • nadbugs says:

          I like the way you think, LC, about the milk, and especially about your further considering that it might not work. Thank Cod we seem to have got past this episode without trying that strategy, good as it is to have in one’s pocket so to speak — but I fear to talk too soon. Time will tell.

  7. Oldcat says:

    Maybe you ought to take him to the vet to get ‘evacuated’, for your peace of mind if nothing else. It would probably be easier to take the over the top rumpus if you weren’t also worried about the poop.

    • nadbugs says:

      You are so extremely right! The poop thing has just got my goat and is eating its lunch. Trouble is, I am just a stubborn cuss who so resists doing something for my peace of mind, when the thing that’s being done is to poor old Bugs. Tomorrow is another day, and tomorrow and tomorrow. What was that quote — Oh heck I’ll just look it up.

      And now I’m so glad I did. It’s from Macbeth, which just seems so perfect. Out out damned spot. “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time.” Makes me feel so much better. People say I dramatize. Who better to take over that role than the master himself. “And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle. Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Take it away Mac. Maybe it was your choice of spouse.

      • I know I hardly ever comment, though I have been following the drama of Bugs off and on for a months now. I agree though, that if he isn’t producing he needs a cleaning, a moments discomfort will more than make up for waiting days for things to happen in their own way over the course of several days.

        Then he go back to being bi-polar about Fang and continue making you ponder his motives with his inscrutable actions. Rather than worrying about poo.

  8. I’d for sure take the advice of your vet in the morning. If he says it’s time for a clean out, then I really think you should do it, stubborn or not. When he’s comfortable again, and you have to admit, not being able to really go has got to be uncomfortable, then he’ll be more himself, and you can relax. Will they still have fights? Of course, they’re cats just learning each other. Loud or not, no one is getting seriously hurt, so all’s well really.
    I agree about not time outting Bugsy in base camp, because that’s Fangs ‘home’ for the moment. But the bathroom, that’s a good spot for a time out if he’s the agressor. Base camp for Fang if he is. If it’s both, by default, probably Fang.
    Chocolate, definitely chocolate! And tomorrow, wine! MOL Because you, sweetie, need to try to relax. I know it’s hard, but it will help everyone, including YOU because you are important in this mix too lady!
    We’re all pulling for you.

    • nadbugs says:

      Great idea about differentiating the safe space. Hadn’t thought to put Bugs in the bathroom, I was just going with the Fang default. Have a feeling Bugs will become more intimately acquainted with the bathroom as time goes by. But — we’ll see. And thank you for remembering my own self-care. Almost always last on the list!

  9. Laura and Taffy says:

    Mostly, what they said. Your vet will know if it’s time for intervention. And to soothe the waters, here is an excellent website that explains it all – and how to prevent in the first place:
    Read it and you may have an Aha moment, or not. A wonderful reference, if nothing else.

    We read back to well before Fang; enjoyed the story, but feel your pain. Been there, done that.

    • nadbugs says:

      Anybody reading this far, and interested in the miracles of biology, has got to read about it in this fantastic link. Incredibly obliged to you, L&T. I’m so glad you’re with us!

  10. Dianda says:

    Maybe if the vet fixed his poop issue, things will settle down more between Fangs and Bugs too? And for you, ofcourse. 🙂

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