Drama In Two Acts

[Warning not for the squeamish:  Months after this post was published, a sighting on Facebook led to the following article in Scientific American.  The bug involved here is no joke.  Some very scary sh*t going on here!  Check it out only if you’re not concerned about nightmares!  –Ed.]

Act I : The Hunt

In which an enormous velociraptor-like creature lies waiting for Bean’s attention outside on the screen door.  Bean dons full armor, captures velociraptor-like creature, and submits for boys’ attention.

Battlestations commence.A pause in the action.

What you think, Bro.  You want him?

That orange stuff coming out of his butt?  I think not.

Bean disposes of the unfortunate critter.

The boys recuperate.

Act II : Provoked Beyond Restraint

No pictures of this action.  Words will have to do.

Bean was cooking up dinner when Bugs spoke in his special voice announcing something untoward.

It was the arrival of Sushi.  This is a white male outside-cat notorious in the neighborhood for beating up other outside cats.  Last time Sushi showed up, Bugs did himself harm lunging at the screen door.  So Bean jumped over to the door, to forestall a repetition.

Then Bean had the bright idea to go outside and shoo Sushi away before he got any closer.

Of course, in order for Bean to go outside, she had to open the door.

Bugs could not contain himself.

He rushed out!!  Bean grabbed for him!!  No good!!  Bugs was out!!

As evening approached.

Those of you new to the blog, read here what happened when Bugs got out in the past.  Those of you needing a reminder, let me just say : Four hours under the house.

We did not have four hours of daylight at this time.

Plus, dinner was cooking on the stove.

None of these considerations made themselves felt in Bean’s mind.  Nor did it matter that she was not exactly clothed for outside expeditions.

Bean closely followed Bugs, calling for him to come back in the house.   No good.  Bugs was after Sushi.

Except — once Bugs made it around the corner of the house, he got scared.  Bean followed him into the jungle that is the eastern exposure of the house — and caught sight of Sushi facing off about twenty feet away.

Bean lunged at Sushi, crashing through the jungle and yelling at him to scram.

Sushi scrammed.

Meantime Bugs was doing his “get me out of here” aria.  He slunk off round the north corner of the house.  Past both the east and north holes — into which he had retreated under the house in prior escapes.

Bean followed.  Bugsy was looking over his shoulder.  Bean said:  “Come back, Bugsy, let’s go inside.”  And —

BUGSY CAME BACK!!!

He let Bean PICK HIM UP!!!  Without the benefit of treats.  Just — “Mom, take me home.”

We crashed back through the jungle — and back inside the house.

Easy-peasy.

Course Bean had a small heart stoppage and numerous bleeding cuts and abrasions — but nothing a Valium and a couple of stiff drinks can’t cure.

Bugs back inside, fed and very proud.

Curtain.