How To Assess Service-Professionals Before Harm Is Done

We have discovered a foolproof way to tell, instantly, whether service-professionals should be engaged for a job of work, or whether they should be summarily dismissed.

We are pretty sure you will be able to guess our method, so here is a quiz.

Scenario No. One

The shower won’t drain.  A plumber is called.  The plumber enters the house.  Barney approaches and begins a pole-dance around the plumber’s lower legs.  The plumber drops to his knees and begins scritching Barney around the ears.  Approximately fifteen extra minutes are spent – not wasted, mind, invested – in this non-plumbing activity.

Engage this guy?

The guy went above and beyond the call to fix the shower.  It took some doing.  If you must know, it involved a back-hoe actually.  The guy was up to the task.

Scenario No. Two

A new laptop is purchased.  Data needs to be transferred, new programs bought, and so on.  A friend’s husband, who has made himself up a fancy business-card claiming he is a computer professional, is contacted.  The whippersnapper enters and sees Barney.  “I’m allergic to cats,” he says.  Barney takes a powder into the next room.  Bugs is nowhere to be seen, not that this is unusual but why make things hard for you.

Engage this guy?


service 009-cropUmm, let’s see.  No?

The guy spent two hours messing around, did not complete the job, promised to return, did not.  Phone calls and e-mails went unanswered.  A week later the guy condescended to respond to a desperate e-mail, claiming – despite showing no signs of it during the visit – that he had become sick from the cats and he would not be returning to clean up the mess he left behind.

Why “mess” is because in that first visit, when I asked him to transfer my virus-protection to my new machine, he claimed that would not be necessary.  Just hours after he left, I instantly came down with a severe malware and virus situation, rendering the new machine useless for Internet purposes and causing all kinds of anguish involving me running around with a thumb-drive between machines.

Scenario No. Three

A computer-repair company is called.  A professional arrives on-site instantly, late Friday of a holiday weekend.  Just to make sure, he says, that I get straightened out before the three-day holiday.  Barney approaches and begins a pole-dance around the repair-guy’s lower legs.  The guy drops to his knees and begins scritching Barney around the ears.  Approximately fifteen extra minutes are invested in this non-computer-repair activity.  Barney then goes one better and actually jumps up on the guy.  Then ensconces himself on the table next to the desktop, as the guy works his magic.  Bugsy even makes a cautious appearance, for a good sniff and scritch.

Engage the computer-repair company?

service 002-cropMom, why fool with these stupid questions?

service 003Where’s our dinner?

Coming right up, boys.

Oh yes.  The quiz.  Engage the computer-repair company-professional?

It takes the guy only a modest amount of time to sweep the virus, install the protection, download two programs, build a network so various machines can communicate remotely with each other, restore Internet service, and, subsequently and immediately, answer several e-mail questions about the new systems.  Over the holiday weekend.

The price quoted was less than I paid the first guy.

So – will the friend stay married to the first guy?

No wait. That is not the question.

The question is: What’s our method, to evaluate whether to engage or summarily dismiss a professional before any harm is done?

Barney is available at very reasonable rates.  This would be money well spent.


About nadbugs

Anita loves cats. This must be because she, too, has had nine lives. She’s been dancing since she could walk, she was a commercial artist and advertising producer, she earned a third-degree black belt in Aikido, she is a drummer with the Afrique Aya Dance Company, she is an attorney, and she’s a meditator and a devoted student of Nonviolent Communication. She also spent one lifetime sidelined with a devastating back injury in 1992. Since then – FELDENKRAIS METHOD® to the rescue. The FELDENKRAIS METHOD is all about dreaming concretely – thinking intelligently and independently by way of a gracious and kind physicality. The work affords all who study it a process by which to reach, with movement, into the mind and the heart, to make nine lives into one whole being.
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15 Responses to How To Assess Service-Professionals Before Harm Is Done

  1. Valuable lesson learned. When in doubt listen to the cats.

  2. muse220 says:

    I’ve always had my doubts about people who do not like animals! I have a friend that is allergic to both cats and dogs, but tolerates the dogs better. She takes meds, 2 feral cats come and go as they please from her house/garage and she has 4 dogs who sleep inside the house!!! I know some people are allergic to cats. However, this shouldn’t affect their ability to perform a service they were hired for! Hope you didn’t pay the first technician for his lousy job!!!

  3. The Cat Test, unpassable by shiesters.

  4. Meekucat says:

    Thats a very interesting way to determine who to hire, I like this very much!
    Cats can sense something about people that we sometimes are clueless about, bravo Barney!

  5. Sparkle says:

    You did great, Barney! In fact, you did better than Binga, who gives her paw of approval to EVERYBODY who walks through our front door, no matter their level of competency.

  6. minlit says:

    Excellent system. Think there’s a way of enhancing it so that he can rule them out at telephone interview stage? Or maybe that’s not gonna fly, due to the negatory scritch impact 😉 Either way, good job Barney!

  7. Charles Huss says:

    I have no doubt that cats (and dogs) can sense the character of a person within a few seconds. Humans can do it to but we need to learn to trust our instincts.

  8. Have a fluffy Sunday. Meow.

  9. OH MY CAT you had my Mom ROLLING on the floor with laughter! She can TOTALLY relate!

  10. Is there any wonder I gave you a little something on my blog?
    Come see!

  11. Oh my gosh! hee hee sounds like you have a fool proof idiot detector!
    “sick” from being around the cats.. uh, no, allergic reaction while there and maybe a little while after, sure, but sick later? I don’t think so. Good idiot spotting guys!

  12. Anne d says:

    I think that if Barney were cheaper than Angie’s list, he would be a bargain indeed. Glad to hear from you.

  13. YAY!!!! Foolproof and 100% accurate! The human always can tell whether an introoder … errr …. guest is worth the effort just by my reaction when they come in! She does not bother with those that fail the Austin Towers Trouser Touch Test! 🙂

  14. Connie says:

    Your method makes perfect sense! 🙂 Glad you got your computer up and running

  15. Daisy says:

    You had me at “Barney does the pole dance”! Still cracking up at the mental image I’m having….

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