Projection, Introjection, Round & Round We Go

In all these wanderings-around here, you may have been wondering, for quite some time now – the point of this blog was – what, again?

This may have been the question in About.com’s Franny Syufy’s mind.  Franny was kind enough to publish us on her cat-blog list, for which yippee and yahoo!

But at the end of each entry on the list, there’s space for her to comment.  In my case, she just kind of left that space blank.Could this be because she couldn’t think what on earth to say? about this idiosyncratic, not to say crazy, blog-endeavor of ours (if you’re still here)?  Still, I’ve noticed Franny’s not in the least bit shy about offering negative feedback to others – so I’m relieved at her silence in that sense at least!

So in case (as if) my point may have got lost in shuffle here, let me find it.  The point is conversation.  More specifically, the point is how to listen.  I’ve always wanted to know how to do that.  Now, with Mr. Bug, I have the perfect teacher.  And I’m writing the syllabus.

Bugs speaks Cat.  Cat is not my native language.  It’s not my second language.  I don’t speak Cat.  At all.

What I do speak is Projection.  You know this language?  My Projection skills are finely honed.  And what an opportunity, with Bugs, for me to practice.  To drop, from a great height, all my tons and tons of stuff, squarely onto Bugs’s enigmatic, delicate little gray shoulders. To really lean into it.  To have a real throw-down, blow-out, no-holds-barred Projection-fest.

Remember the (1) Internalized (2) Rejecting (3) Object?  This is a particularly corrosive species of Projection.  (Or Introjection, depending.  Oh the yin and yang of it, how it turns and turns.)

Cats are the perfect foil.  I saw this PBS documentary once on pets.  There one woman said this:  Cats are ideal for people who enjoy feeling rejected.

I believe this woman may have been (gasp) a dog-person.

Whatever her personal shortcomings may have been, though, what she said hit a nerve.  I’d been struggling for quite some time to avoid interpreting Bug’s behavior in just that way.  Here comes positive reinforcement to do just that thing.